The Abuse Unnoticed

by Devina Gunawan

The words “best friends” are the ultimate tool to abuse me. It is no joke, no sarcasm. It is the truth to every single tragic story that has built up my record.

I dislike them, I adore them, I fall into their trap.

I feel obligated to someone for my status as his/her best friend, and of course I will do  whatever I can to keep him/her happy and safe. But does it go the other way around? Sometimes, yes. A lot of times… No.

We are all different. And unfortunately, there are those who are like me, those who treasure friendship above and beyond.

And there are some like those who use others. And this is our case.

I will be the one waiting in the rain, faithfully, until my ‘best friend’ opens up the door. I will be the one answering the phone call from my ‘best friend’ when I am needed as a listener. I will be the one clearing my agenda when my ‘best friend’ calls and asks to meet up. I will be the one quietly hoping that my ‘best friend’ will remember me.

Because apparently, when you call someone ‘best friend’ it is like an abuse unnoticed. The person will feel obligated to please you, to take care of you, to listen to your problems, to always answer your calls, to always be there for you, and to love you unconditionally.

But you ignore the calls when you are needed, you stand him/her up for some unimportant business, you flee the moment you see him/her cry, and you walk away the moment s/he shows weakness.

You hire a servant the moment you say, “You are my best friend.”

That is unnoticed. Nobody knows what you have done.

It is unfair. It is cruel. It is an act of murder.

Do you know what you have done? The heart that you have damaged? The tears that have flooded someone’s beautiful face because of your ignorance? The devotion that you have taken away by those two simple words “best friends”?

It is an abuse. Unfortunately, unnoticed. It is a privilege to be abused, if it means to be titled “best friend” and it hurts me to say that it is the worst thing anyone can ever do to others.

It happens to me. It happens to you. It happens to others.

But we never realize it. We never get to see it. We are abused, and we are fooling ourselves into thinking that this is real friendship and real love.

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