What people ask and tell me when they know I belong in the LGBT group

by Devina Gunawan

As if being bisexual in a conservative, religious community isn’t hard enough. Well, people just need to ask their questions.

And a lot of times, they aren’t nice. I understand that it is not common. I also understand that people are curious. But the most irritating is to hear these questions from people who claim to have been in many places and seen so much.

People who claim to be very familiar with the LGBTQ tend to ask me questions that make me wonder if they lie.

Well, enough of my bitterness. Here are some questions people usually ask me and some statements they throw my way. And for those who know me, you can probably hear my voice answering and responding to these.

1. How did you become bisexual? 

A: How? Well apparently, a bisexual spider bit me and then I mutated into a bisexual woman.


2. Why are you bi?

A: Why aren’t you?

3. So.. are you more into guys or girls? 

A: It depends. How frustrating is the relationship kinda helps me decide. But hands down women are ridiculously good looking nowadays.

4. I’ve decided. You’re gay.

R: Okay. That must be you understanding that I’ve decided you’re not attractive.


5. You do not look gay at all. You’re really attractive for a lesbian. 

R: Well if you define lesbian as not being good looking, I guess you could be one.

6. Aren’t lesbian women usually fat? 

A: Where have you looked? Every woman is beautiful and you clearly own no mirror.

7. You can’t be bi. You are just a feminist, right?

A: Thanks for making the decision for me. I didn’t know how to decide!


8. So how does it feel like to kiss a girl?

A: You haven’t kissed one? Are you sure you’re not gay?

9. Have you tried dating men before? 

A: Yes I have. If I haven’t, I’d gone straight gay.

10. What’s it like to date a girl?
A: Man, you need a girlfriend.

11. What do you not like about boys? 

A: Probably the same thing you don’t like about boys.

12. Am I your type? 

A: If you were, I would not be answering the questions.

13. Are you SURE you’re bi?

A: Are you sure you’re straight?

14. You do know that you’re going to hell right? 

A: Please make sure you’re not gonna be there too.


15. How can you be Christian and bi at the same time? 

A: God wants me to love my neighbors. He doesn’t say what sex.

16. Can you describe lesbian sex?

A: I believe you need to meet internet and porn.

17. You can definitely choose. So why didn’t you choose to be straight? 

A: When I saw my first love for the first time, my heart skipped a beat. I didn’t choose. It just happened.

One chooses, however, to either embrace that or pretend to like something else. I just choose to not trouble myself so much.

18. This is probably only a phase, right? 

A: Well, are you talking about you or me?

19. You can definitely go back to being straight. I have faith in you. 

R: Awh. Aren’t you adorable.


20. Have you faced haters? What if people call you names?

A: Yes, I have. And it’s okay, I guess. People feel the need to protect their institutions and you can’t blame them for it.

Well, too bad calling me names won’t change a thing about me.

21. Your family must be so disappointed.

R: Because I have clean criminal record and have never done drugs or killed anyone? Or because I got scholarships and got into a top university?

22. A lot of people must be so upset that you aren’t straight.

R: I’m not upset.


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