Why? Well, because some people irritate me. And I happen to be pretty patient and tolerant. So when this kind of rant happens, it is because I have had and seen enough.
- Cutting line. Yeah you! You’re damn right I’m staring at you. How dare you steal my spot? I was standing here for five minutes, waiting for my turn to order food, and you just show up out of nowhere and snitch the 5 minutes that were supposedly reserved for the preparation of my lunch? Over my dead body!
- Standing so close to the person paying the bills or ordering food at the cashier. Well, do this again and I will report you to the police. What are you trying to see? My credit card? Wait two minutes for my transaction to be done with, will you? Two minutes won’t kill you if you’re still alive and healthy enough to be lining up in a Starbucks store.
- Staring at strangers in obvious manners. Do you know me? Do I know you? If we don’t know each other, and if I look nothing like anyone you know, then look away. I don’t have enough time to crack my brain open to list out names of people I might or might not remember just because you’re staring at me. If my fly’s open then come forward and tell me. That’ll solve this awkward stare contest!
- Walking into an elevator before people got the chance to get out. Excuse me. You’re blocking me. You actually like your elevator ride crowded, huh? You like sharing the oxygen with more people. The more the merrier, I suppose.
- Flirting with customers. Now, unless you look like Liam Hemsworth, or at least half as good as he does, don’t even try. I am here to buy something, and I really am considering cancelling my purchase if you keep on asking for my number. Customers are kings.
- Cornering a stranger (as a group). Now, I know you probably do not speak my language. But don’t make me turn violent and start clawing into your faces. You’re so loud, I can’t tell whether you’re talking or yelling at each other, and you’re surrounding me at the cashier. My first instinct will tell me that you are going to rob me. I have pepperspray on guard.
- Bumping into people and not apologizing. I once dragged a kid by his collar for bumping into my grandmother and not showing any sign of regrets. I told him to apologize to my grandmother or I’d call security. I don’t know what scared him more, the idea of security or the fact that I was so close to choking him to death – but he apologized in the end.
- Treating others differently due to different skin colors. I am eyeing all of you racist bastards! I don’t care if your parents taught you to be one. I’ve seen how some people have been treated differently, or viewed differently, due to their skin colors. Oh, so you favor light skinned people? Zombieland is only five hours away. I suggest you go on foot. Zombies love the chase.
- Cursing in front of little children. Okay. So I know children nowadays are exposed to this on media and all. But it doesn’t mean you should give them live examples too! Someday, your children will call you assholes and you’ll wonder how the hell they got so advanced in their vocabulary. You people, obviously, you set the standards.