I Wonder

I wonder how bitterness can eat one up so well and push one up higher. I wonder how darkness can feel so warm and freezing cold at the same time. 

I wonder how one can be broken and brave. I wonder how one can be damaged and happy. 

I wonder how I can be so kind and cruel. I wonder how you can be so loving and terrifying. 

I wonder how life can be so short and long. When each blissful second passes I wonder where time has gone, when an hour of misery ends I wonder how my day has disappeared. 

Pitch black. Cold. And dead. 

Light. Warm. And alive. 

I wonder how I can feel so much within this hour of emptiness. Carrying so much pain and a bucket of things to be grateful for. 

I wonder how the dead can look like the living, and how the living can look so dead. 

I wonder how my heart can freeze and cry blood at once. I wonder how I can miss you and fear you altogether. 

Or how you have my heart in your hand and break it too.