Why I’m Nice to You

by Devina

Why? Well, that’s a question I usually refuse to answer.

 

I am no angel. I certainly ain’t a saint. I curse and I spit out horrible insults when necessary. I lose my temper way too quickly, and if challenged, lose respect towards anyone who dares.

But why am I so nice? What makes people think that I am one of the nicest people in the world?

I believe that everyone struggles. I believe that everyone has her or his battles. That every single one of us is trying so hard to not show the world that, “Yes, I am in pain.”

Everyone’s got stories nobody knows. We all got our horrible past and history. We all bear insane burden. And we all have been hurt.

So when I look into someone’s eyes, I remind myself that, “You know how you’re crying yourself to sleep at night? Yes, this person is the same.”

That when someone is cruel to me, it means a cry out for help.

Of course, I filter my judgment. I see just as far as needed. I put myself in your shoes and imagine your pain. I try to see, just how bad it hurts to be you, before I decide how much patience I should invest in our relationship.

Perhaps that makes me the most judgmental, but in a way, compassionate.

Some people just hate me for no reason, and to them, I bear no respect. I have done nothing horrible to you, and you can’t explain if you’re asked anyway, so why should I waste my time on you?

Luckily, there aren’t many like that. So far I haven’t received anything worse than the age of being bullied. And when I see how those who bullied me were in a lot of pain, I decided to forgive them.

So you will know if I’d seen your pain – I’d be kind even when you showed hatred towards me.

But you, whoever you are, those of you who find kindness in me and my comforting words.

I believe in your pain. In your battles. And in your strength.

I have faith in your courage every morning to get up and get through the day. I admire that. And I admire you.

That’s why I show nothing but respect and love towards you. Because you choose life, and despite everything, survive.