Recently it just hit me, that no matter how much I want to deny it, some friends do take you for granted. And perhaps they don’t mean to, or at least I’d like to believe so. But some of them are aware of their friends’ kindness, and take advantage.
So here’s the list, my ultimate list, of what a friend does that can drive me crazy and even end the friendship.
1. Talk about your papercuts for hours when the other friend is in hospital.
Not that they don’t suck. They totally do. Like you’re flipping pages and oops, there’s blood. But really, it does hurt listening to someone talk for hours about not being able to convince her daddy to get her the $5000 jacket, when you’re living under budget on scholarships.
2. Invite yourself to a private meeting just because your friend is there.
No. Maybe your friend isn’t the one in charge, and you showing up uninvited and unwanted might just get her in trouble. You need to understand that organizing an event is tough, and you will just ruin it for the event organizer and your friend.
3. Expect your friend to do certain things for you just because she’s done it once.
Just because your friend paid the bill the other day, doesn’t mean she has to do it for the rest of her life. I mean, yeah that’s fine if you’re broke, but if you got money, order expensive items on the menu, and still make your friend pay, well then let’s just make the dinner twice a year or less.
4. Order nothing and eat half of your friend’s food.
Alright, girl. I get it. You’re on diet, the special “saving up to get that dress” diet. But you think I’d be okay watching you eat most of my fries? We aren’t that close! And if we were, you’d know how much I love my fries. And if you don’t have money, just say so! I’ll treat you a meal and you don’t have to take my fries!
5. Claim yourself to be the best friend and then demand privileges.
Okay, let’s be real. Best friends throw insults at each other. Do you want that? Don’t think that the only privileges are sharing stuff and spending lots of time together, they come with special treats too. Like, if you can’t listen to me talk about Star Wars for at least a good hour, then you don’t deserve other privileges.
6. “Borrow” money and have no return date.
I had to end a friendship because of this. When I was living on a tight budget, a rich friend kept borrowing my money. She claimed to not be able to get cash from ATM and needed to buy food, so I helped out. But every time she said the ATM machine worked, I’d ask for the money and she’d ignore me completely. I caught her buying a very expensive scarf with cash one day and ended the whole tale. She cried and said I hurt her. Well, life is tough. I only had cheap pasta and baguettes for weeks in exchange of her expensive scarf. Choices had to be made.
7. Try to make the other friend look bad in public.
The reason why people don’t like you is probably because you humiliate them in public and say mean things in front of other people. You can say you’re jealous of your friend’s intelligence and success, but making them look bad just shows that you want them to look less interesting or as horrible as you do.
8. Judge your friend’s lifestyle and choices when they have limited options.
“You’re eating instant noodles again? Seriously, buy more quality food. You’re so cheap.” Little do you know, your friend only had a dollar left, which is why she bought the instant noodles and made it a fulfilling meal at home. “You’re working right now? Oh my gosh that’s so pathetic.” But some people really do need the money to survive. Except you’re being sarcastic and witty, that’s just a no no.
9. Flirt with your friend’s partner.
In my personal dictionary, the moment you start flirting or making a move on your friend’s partner, you’re already out of the circle. No real friend would do such thing. Friends respect each other and other relationships.
10. Never apologize after hurting your friend’s feelings.
Like, it could mean you don’t think you hurt her feelings, or maybe you don’t think it’s your fault, or that you think she deserves it. Whichever one that is, it’s not looking too good on you. And it’s not looking good for your friend either if she’s been forgiving you all this time and letting you do whatever you please and hurt her.