Je m’appelle Absurde

by Devina

No, I am not high, in case you’re wondering. Not tipsy or drunk either. In fact, I just had a cup of coffee. It is two strikes past midnight, and I am awake.

I remember a good friend of mine brought up the idea of suicide. And how suicide is a way to reach peace, or what a lot of us believe to be absurd. It is the time when a man decides to take himself out of the world, and in that, a man can see the world as it truly is.

The factor discussed in this was death.

Now, few weeks after the discussion, my brain kicked in and decided to open up another discussion. However, I do not feel like I should bring this up to him as it would result in few hours of debate and possibly no conclusion.

Conclusion is not my main goal; besides, conclusion is just going to be another question, non? The more we know, the more we know we do not know. The more answers we get, the more questions we will have.

But let’s get to that later. Like, next year later.

In reaching ‘absurd’ we need two things in the equation: World and man.

I believe the equation goes like this:

World + Man = Absurd

It is not World minus Man. Why? Because if you take man out of the equation, then who is doing the thinking? We can go over existentialism and question man’s existence and so on, but let’s not do that now.

Man needs to be alive in order to understand absurd. It is not when man is a part of the world, meaning when a man is not thinking against of challenging, but when a man is doing his daily routine without questioning why. It is not that.

Absurd is when a man realizes that he is not of the world, but simply, merely a part of it. It is when a man realizes that he is a tiny dot making up the whole universe, but not ‘the’ dot. He is a part of, but not of it.

Take note on when we are reading random news online. Some murder cases, some terrorist acts, or the recent big one: Brexit. That is when we realize that we are not related to those events, that we are living our very own lives.

We are separate, and yet together.

We are all individuals, alone on our very own feet, and yet we make up this world when we are together. Strange, but it makes sense.

Now, we need to be fully functional and alive, somewhat in a state of serenity, or whenever we are pensive, to acknowledge this. Thus, we cannot be taking ourselves out of the equation.

We need to be able to look at the world as is, and ourselves as are, to be able to reach the point of absurd.

Death takes man out of the equation, right? But what is the one thing that gives man that time to reflect upon his existence?

The dying moments, those peaceful minutes. It is the moment when a man realizes that he does not have to succumb to the usual daily routine anymore. It is when he sees the world as it is, not as something he is a part of anymore. That as he is dying there, he is alone, and irrelevant to the rest of the world.

So it isn’t death that brings absurd, it isn’t the suicide. But the ticking minutes or seconds of total loneliness that guides one to absurd.

We don’t need to kill ourselves to get there, we need to relive moments like that. We need to be able to separate ourselves completely, while still being a part of this world, to meet absurd.

I mean, it’s not like Absurd is knocking on everyone’s door, introducing himself, you know.



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