Loud

The mind is always loud. Especially for people like us. We who think of the most unorthodox, who wonder about the strangest occurrences, and who always try to explain the unfathomable.

My mind is loud and cloudy. It buzzes like a broken radio at 2 in the morning, subtle noises keeping you company and ruining your chance at having a good sleep.

The world is never quiet. Not for people like us. When people in the room stop talking, our minds never.

It is considered our strength, that we can branch out our thoughts and explore possibilities while sipping our coffee at Starbucks.

And as the sun gently taps on my shoulders through the glass windows, I wake up from my dying dreams.

In despair, my mind gets louder. The heart is however, always quietly following where the mind goes. What it says and commands, heart simply submits and obeys.

Perhaps it’s confusion, the unspoken conflict between the loud mind and the quiet heart. That the mind tries to understand, comprehend why his companion is always silent.

Nobody knows.

My hands keep up with the ideas pouring into my head, onto sketches laid out on a wide wooden table. Starbucks’ quiet hours are always the best. Where the sun is still asleep with the rest of the world. The baristas are yawning and preparing for the day, while glancing every now and then at the door. They remember me as the first customer on most days, walking in almost seconds after the OPEN hours begin.

I close my eyes and listen to the sound of my brain turning ideas into vivid images, moving my pen to sketch. The world is always full of my mind’s voice, echoing left and right. Guiding me each and every step I take. Keeping me company in my daily solitude.

That is how content I am with the noises. My world revolves around them and I don’t know how it would be without them.

It is how it’s always been.

“Let’s go. Pack your stuff and let’s go get food.”

A firm shake on my left shoulder interrupts my thoughts. I look up to find you standing over me, hand on my shoulder, waiting for me to respond.

Quiet.

My mind suddenly becomes silent.

And my heart starts to speak.