Losses and Grief

There is that stinging pain. The obvious sign of grief. Somewhat an alarming note to a disrupted paradise. A bell rings for someone like me.

To grieve is one’s response to loss. To react a certain way when something is taken away from you. When it’s not your choice to begin with to lose it.

I must admit, loss is necessary. At times. That when you lose something, you gain something. When you find your courage in accepting that you’ve lost someone, you gain strength.

Then again, you still lost someone or something precious.

So how much of a gain could heal you?

How much of a loss could destroy you?

How much more or left of you would there be at the end of the road?

Nobody truly knows.

I lost you, to your own misery and pain. And there was nothing I could do. I could no longer help. I could no longer speak for anyone.

And I lost a precious friend.

What I gained from this I have yet to find. What I learned from this I have yet to discover.

But sometimes, a loss is a loss. No matter how you view it or justify your perfect equation.

Because I could come up with a million reasons why it had to happen. Why you had to go. Why some things wouldn’t work out.

But in the end, I still lost you.