Never a Repeated Offense

My foot in a shoe of yours and I understand your actions

I understand all burdensome truths and lies that crowded our initial happiness

The lies that sat so elegantly in a corner, with both hands placed on crossed legs and a smile of affirmation

So confident that despite the hurdles lifted so high up, there’s a belief that all will suffice into glee

‘Love’ will triumph because that’s what is meant to happen

The feeling of lust mingled with affection will blossom into love

And all will be as it should, as intended during our first rendezvous

But, like a soft breeze which intended to bring warmth but failed to realize the chill season

So did the affirmation of my understanding which failed to grasp the depth of the shoes you wear

So slowly, actions turned into grief with a spice of hate and remorse

I understood then. No, I try to understand. So why this unshakable feeling of doubts?

One that hangs to my shadow’s mind, waiting so patiently for my frequent visit

To whisper into my ears ever so seductively ‘what if there’s more?’

Typically four words that drag me into a spiral of analysis and eventual data-mining

At the end, the shame of my justified deceit weighs heavily on my chest.

And I am left with two choices – to leave or stay and wish it will never be a repeated offense.

By Daniella D.